First of all, yes, I got a new toy. I'd never heard of Dylustions before, but there are a bunch of cool products in this line I want – stencils, spray inks, stamps and such. For now, though, it's all about the sketchbook. I saw it in Reggie's photostream on Flickr and was amazed at what she's been doing with color. I'm always on the lookout for a better book, so I've been haunting the mailman for a week and he came through yesterday.
I've been busy decorating the cover and envelope and I really enjoyed having the option to do that.
As for tough days, I've had a few lately. Most of the time, my head is right where I left it – on top of my shoulders (bah-dum-dum). The last few days, though, it's been a struggle to stay positive. I've had some pain near the medication port on my chest and trouble taking deep breaths, so my husband and I got to spend six lovely hours in the ER tuesday night. Good news is it's not an infection and the x-rays showed everything where it should be. The bad news is I had the doctors stumped.
I saw my oncologist this morning and the biggest concern to him was the breathing issues. He sent me back to the hospital for a CT scan to rule out anything exciting, like a pulmonary embolism. Obviously, I'm home and just fine & dandy – heart, lungs, chest and the port all checked out with no problems. The doctor thinks it's pain due to the shot I had to stimulate blood cell production. It gets the bone marrow working overtime making new cells and can cause bone pain. That's a relief and I'm happy that I'll be able to sleep tonight ... sometime soon. ;-)
So I've been down the last couple of days. This whole journey has been a lesson in living in the moment. All I have to get through is today, all I have to concern myself with is what's going on right now. I can't change the past, so it does no good to look back and wish this never happened. I can't predict the future and thinking about what might happen just freaks me out anyway. If I'm not here now, I miss hugs from the punks, jokes with my husband, playing sessions with the dog and the return of my taste buds for a day or two.
I'm going to do my best to stay right here, right now.