Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Some Days Are Harder Than Others.


First of all, yes, I got a new toy. I'd never heard of Dylustions before, but there are a bunch of cool products in this line I want – stencils, spray inks, stamps and such. For now, though, it's all about the sketchbook. I saw it in Reggie's photostream on Flickr and was amazed at what she's been doing with color. I'm always on the lookout for a better book, so I've been haunting the mailman for a week and he came through yesterday.
It has a sturdy chipboard cover, perfect for decorating (wait for it) and when you open it up you've got an envelope for all your artistic accoutrements. Then the sketchbook itself has a slightly less heavy cover – I've colored a couple of pages, but I haven't drawn on them yet. Still, I think the cover is hard enough to support the pages when drawing.
Inside is a combination of white and buff pages in perfect bound signatures. The white pages have a bit of texture and the buff are smoother.

I've been busy decorating the cover and envelope and I really enjoyed having the option to do that.
Tomorrow I'm going to get cracking on some drawings and I can't wait. It's amazing how a new toy can light a fire to your creativity!

As for tough days, I've had a few lately. Most of the time, my head is right where I left it – on top of my shoulders (bah-dum-dum). The last few days, though, it's been a struggle to stay positive. I've had some pain near the medication port on my chest and trouble taking deep breaths, so my husband and I got to spend six lovely hours in the ER tuesday night. Good news is it's not an infection and the x-rays showed everything where it should be. The bad news is I had the doctors stumped.

I saw my oncologist this morning and the biggest concern to him was the breathing issues. He sent me back to the hospital for a CT scan to rule out anything exciting, like a pulmonary embolism. Obviously, I'm home and just fine & dandy – heart, lungs, chest and the port all checked out with no problems. The doctor thinks it's pain due to the shot I had to stimulate blood cell production. It gets the bone marrow working overtime making new cells and can cause bone pain. That's a relief and I'm happy that I'll be able to sleep tonight ... sometime soon. ;-)

So I've been down the last couple of days. This whole journey has been a lesson in living in the moment. All I have to get through is today, all I have to concern myself with is what's going on right now. I can't change the past, so it does no good to look back and wish this never happened. I can't predict the future and thinking about what might happen just freaks me out anyway. If I'm not here now, I miss hugs from the punks, jokes with my husband, playing sessions with the dog and the return of my taste buds for a day or two.

I'm going to do my best to stay right here, right now.


11 comments:

  1. Love your new book. As I said on Flickr you're inspiring me to get mine out..it's still very blank!

    Hugs to you in your medical journey. I think you are on the right track...live in the moment. Sometimes when we are going through hard times moment to moment is what we can handle.

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    1. The book is fun, although I'm finding the huge pages intimidating. Just jump in there and have fun. You should see if you can find the spray inks they have. They are water-reactive, so they work like watercolors. I'm hoping to get some over the weekend.

      And thanks for the hugs. I'm feeling better everyday.

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  2. What a wonderful book - I love the cover that you've created - just perfect! I love your attitude, as well - you're absolutely right - living in the moment is the way to do it - not easy, but right.

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    1. Thanks Diahn. I've been very into inspirational quotes of late. ;-)

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  3. Glad to know you're home. Sorry you're having such a rough time. Your Dylusions journal is so inspiring. I've bought one but I'm too scared to use it but after seeing yours I might just get it out and start playing with my inks. Thank you :))

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  4. Looks like fun and already a great start

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  5. so glad you got your journal....i just started using these a couple of months ago....i'm in love...have fun.

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    1. Thanks Cindy. The big size is new to me, but it's fun trying to figure out what to do with all that room.

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  6. Very cool journal... and you've done a jam up job decorating it. Constant pain can not only sap you physically but can make even a cheerful spirit morose... your moment by moment method is the best way to deal with days like this. Putting a cool cloth on your head, laying down and listening to your favorite music can help... well it worked for me... cool cloth because it was Summer when I went thru this... if it's still cold where you are maybe a warm cloth would be better... do what helps you relax and focus.

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  7. Sending you and your family wishes for many, many special moments together...each taken one at a time...they will soon weave themselves into a tapestry of treasured memories to comfort you. I hold you in my heart Karen...and love the warrior spirits of both you and your fabulous artistic Muse. Stay strong...xo

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XOXO
Karen